8 Tips For Dating a Friend

1) Be Prepared To Lose the Friendship First of all, if you are considering dating a friend, you should be prepared to lose the friendship. I know I'll probably be bashed by sappy folks for saying this, but it's just a harsh truth based on all the cases I've seen as a dating coach in the past ten years. If your friend does not reciprocate your feelings, he or she may "freak out" and pull back from you. Even if your friend does like you back and you guys end up dating, the relationship may not last forever. And when the breakup finally happens, it may not be as amicable as you would hope.

2) Don't Just Say It If you like your friend, make sure you don't just "spill your beans" and reveal how you feel. They may NOT feel the same way. Even if they did, "telling" them would kill their interest level. Instead of wearing your heart on your sleeve and letting yourself blurt it out, just follow the tips in this article and take things one step at a time.

3) Make Them See You Differently Your first job is to stop bring predictable and make them start seeing you differently? Why? Because they probably think they know you very well and that there is no reason to go from being "friends" to dating. You gotta change that. Surprise them by showing more sides to you. (They better be good things!) Make them realize that there is a LOT more to you than what meets the eye. You gotta make them intrigued by you, or you're going to be stuck as a friend forever.


4) Know When To Pull Back This may feel counter-intuitive, but sometimes you have to pull back before you can advance. If you friend currently takes your presence in their life for granted, then maybe it's time to disappear for a little while so that when you talk again, you can do so from a clean slate.

5) Do Exciting Things and Act Like a Challenge This goes with making your friend see you differently. Do things that are "different", unique, and exciting. At the same time, stop being "nice" and start doing things more on your own terms. Don't just be a nice "best guy friend" or "best girl friend". Be independent, exciting, and unique. Make them miss you and want to hang out with you.

6) Flirt and Raise the Physical Attraction Once you have your friend seeing you differently, you should flirt, flirt, and flirt some more. I can't emphasize this enough. It is extremely important that you start taking things to a more "physical level." When you're dealing with a friend you're known for a long time, it usually takes a LOT of physical chemistry to get them to start fantasizing about being in a relationship with you. So go for a kiss (or more) if you can!

7) Know How To Transit How you handle the first kiss or make-out session with be a make-or-break for your new relationship. If you act weird or don't know what to do, doubt will creep in and your friend may start feeling guilty about doing what they did with you since you're "just friends". Don't allow that to happen. Prolong that "post-kiss" or "post-make-out" afterglow for as long as possible by acting like a lover. Cuddle and whisper sweet things into your friend's ears until it feels like you are together already.

8) Keep the Interest Level High The interest level may fluctuate for awhile due to guilt and confusion. So make sure you keep on flirting and acting like a challenge. Otherwise, you're going to hear the "Let's just be friends" request pretty soon!


good luck! and Happy Valentines...